My use of past tense in the previous post title
was slightly premature. Wacky weather indeed, it snowed again this morning. Just a light flurry, mind, but I took it as a sideways glance from the sky suggesting "I can still fuck you up if I want to, so don't get cocky".
Got the invitation to my 10-year reunion the other day, as did some of you reading this I'm sure. The invitation was in teal blue, our school colour, which to this day I have never seen in the world beyond Turramurra High School or its instruments of pain. Not in nature or human creation, not even in a rainbow, or a soap bubble, or the little colour selector in photoshop, which leads me to believe it is somehow outside the natural spectrum of colours, not like infrared or ultravoilet, but in some fourth dimension orthogonal to red, green and blue, yet somehow deep beneath the others morally speaking... a manichaean dimension where anything goes, banished by Nāšā Qaḏmāyā into the realm of darkness in the formative moments of the universe, but released millennia later by the salivating toothy hordes of McMartin, Nancarrow, and all the rest.
Anyone else been thinking that, or is it just me?
Anyway, it's gonna be in November, which means there is little to no chance of me appearing. Now, pretty much everyone I went to school with falls into one of two categories: about 10 people I've kept in very close (often physical) contact with, and the rest I've kept in absolutely zero contact with, which led me* to the following plan: ask a girl who
* - concept developed in collaboration with JS.
Got the invitation to my 10-year reunion the other day, as did some of you reading this I'm sure. The invitation was in teal blue, our school colour, which to this day I have never seen in the world beyond Turramurra High School or its instruments of pain. Not in nature or human creation, not even in a rainbow, or a soap bubble, or the little colour selector in photoshop, which leads me to believe it is somehow outside the natural spectrum of colours, not like infrared or ultravoilet, but in some fourth dimension orthogonal to red, green and blue, yet somehow deep beneath the others morally speaking... a manichaean dimension where anything goes, banished by Nāšā Qaḏmāyā into the realm of darkness in the formative moments of the universe, but released millennia later by the salivating toothy hordes of McMartin, Nancarrow, and all the rest.
Anyone else been thinking that, or is it just me?
Anyway, it's gonna be in November, which means there is little to no chance of me appearing. Now, pretty much everyone I went to school with falls into one of two categories: about 10 people I've kept in very close (often physical) contact with, and the rest I've kept in absolutely zero contact with, which led me* to the following plan: ask a girl who
- looks somewhat similar to me
- would not be known to people from our grade
- is willing to humiliate herself and me
* - concept developed in collaboration with JS.
posted by I-Rock at 10:19 PM
7 Comments:
A quick trip to wikipedia later and I'm up to speed.
Guro is perfect; people would be so shocked that they wouldn't pay all that much attention to what she actually looked like. And if that fails she could just blame the hormone treatments.
That would be fantastic. You failed to mention a #4: must be in correct continent, or will be at that time. Narrows it down somewhat.
#5: They would have to dress and act like Old Gregg
Hey Ian,
Dad told me to read this. I feel pretty special! Pity you and I went to the same school...they'd prob know who I am. Other than that, sheer brilliance!
Why don't you just send the Proclaimers and claim to have cloned yourself?
They could even proclaim that I've cloned myself!
... ergh
they probably need the cash too - let's be honest
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